If Only
by Chibi Legolas
Summary: Legolas suffers guilt for what he deems as a bad decision, and now Haldir's life is in danger. (Complete. Based entirely on a dream, rated for violence)


Chibi Legolas: Disclaimer at the end. Based on a dream. Details at the end.  
  
Pippin: Oi! This story ish sad!  
  
Chibi Legolas: Aren't mine always sad? Now, shhh!  
  
----------------___________-------------------____________------------------  
  
Legolas stood with eyes lowered in sadness, his back pressed up against a stone pillar. Through his tunic and his mantle, it felt solid, cold; feelings he welcomed in silence. The seconds passed as long as hours, wave after wave of guilt washing over him until he could barely stand at all. Memories of battle blared in his mind, refusing to fade…  
  
------------- ------------- -----------  
  
High on the wall, the droves of enemies had poured over the stone barriers and into the lines of soldiers that defended the people of Rohan. The combat had been brutal: mostly hand-to-hand. He recalled the dark blood oozing, dripping down his long ivory-handled knives until his hands were sticky with it. Still, the dark forces advanced.  
  
At first, he had enjoyed it. He always did, the hunt. Of course, he had never experienced a battle like this… One that seemed so utterly hopeless. Before the worst of the fighting had begun, he had joked with Gimli over who could kill the most. But that was also before the breech in the fortress wall; that was before he had failed for the first time, being unable to take down the most important foe: the Uruk with the torch…  
  
------------- ------------- -----------  
  
Stormy blue eyes squeezed shut with that bitter memory. Why hadn't he been able to make that Uruk fall? His arrows had flown true before. Aragorn's cries seemed to ring in his delicately pointed ears even still, "Legolas! Bring him down! Legolas!" Men and elves feel back to the second stronghold wall, to the armored Keep. To his surprise, Legolas had found himself fighting beside Haldir.  
  
That Lorien elf had come with an army from Lothlorien and Rivendell to honor an old alliance set forth in ancient times, that had existed between the two races during the first great war for Middle Earth. Many Orcs fell by the blades of both elves. It seemed then that there was a glimmer of hope!  
  
It was then that they came.  
  
------------- ------------- -----------  
  
…The rain ceased, leaving the air thick with a heavy fog that clung to the terraces and to the ground below. Weapon-wielding figures appeared and disappeared in it. Through the gloom of this time, the Prince of Mirkwood caught a glimpse of it… a "Garnak." They were not much to the eye: a glob of moving earth. They were, no doubt, enchanted by the hand of the evil white wizard, Sauruman. Legolas did not know their purpose. Yet, if they were brought by the enemy, he reasoned they were evil just the same and should therefore be treated with caution. And without civility.  
  
It was behind Haldir. Legolas brought down another Orc; it fell groaning, and he watched the Garnak as it sledged towards the other elf. For a quick timeless moment, the Golden Prince was hesitant. Ivory-hilted knives were still in the murky darkness as there was a small inward debate on whether or not to risk shouting out to him… A cry could distract him while he was fighting, which may not be a good thing.   
  
Another Orc fell out of the mist at him, and Legolas did not call. Haldir was the March Warden of Lothlorien: he was able and could care well for himself, thought Legolas.   
  
His quarry was slain in an instant, to be swiftly replaced by another and another. The elf held his position. Yet another one fell dead at his leather-bound feet. Now he turned to see how his kinsman was faring.  
  
He turned just in time to see the silver-haired elf pry his sword from the broken breast-plate of an Uruk…  
  
But that elven steel was not raised again. Instead it fell, clanging against the sullied stone; for the Garnak lifted itself then, flinging its mass upon the archer in crimson and gold. It swallowed him whole before Legolas' very eyes, drawing Haldir's body in like a thick mud does a booted foot.  
  
"Haldir!" And Legolas knew he had failed for the second time that night in not shouting out a warning. "Haldir!" Orcs and Uruk hai were forgotten as he broke into a run.  
  
He reached the thing, the Garnak. His long knives lashed out against the belching mound of bubbling mud. There was a metallic clink; Legolas' arm vibrated, and with horror, he realized he had struck Haldir's armor inside the thing.  
  
"Off of him!" he shouted. Droplets began to shower from the sky again. But Legolas hardly noticed. "Haldir!" Gritting his crystal white teeth, the woodland prince shoved his hands into the mud.  
  
He reached it seemed for ages. Then his hand closed around something… Could that be a wrist? He got a good grip, then yanked backwards as best he could, throwing his whole body back from the thing. A grimy forearm, his own hand…. Then another hand began to appear, another forearm, but this one bound in golden guards and red… Legolas caught it with both hands now, holding on with all his will. He could not lose him again!  
  
The Garnak tried to suck the freed arm back into itself… Yet, something seemed to be weakening it with every passing second. Legolas watched in wonder as bits of it began to melt in the rain. 'Of course, water!'  
  
Haldir's head began to emerge as Legolas steadily drew him forth by his arm. With one leg, the elf of the Fellowship kicked the mud creature, causing it to fall apart even more, in big great gobs. Finally! He managed to pry his friend loose from its clutches. It rushed them one last time, but it was so weakened, it turned to gooey muck. It splashed over them like muddy water. The last remnants seeped away with the rain into the cracks of the stones until it was gone.   
  
Weary after that effort, Legolas boosted himself up to look at Haldir. He had not moved; he was not breathing.  
  
Legolas caught him by the shoulders to shake him hard. "Haldir!"  
  
The elf of Lorien was coated in mud. A thick film of it hung on his clothes, his hair, body, and face. It filled his nose, mouth, his ears as well. Legolas went into a panic. His nimble fingers frantically dug at Haldir's mouth. He brushed globs of the sludge from the delicately formed nostrils. "Please…please! By the grace, by the Valar, please…" Came his harsh whispers pleadingly, begging for the other elf to breathe again.  
  
Still, nothing. Beneath the brown goop, the face was serene and a pale almost purple shade.  
  
Burning tears welled in his eyes. 'Why did I not call out, give some sort of warning?!' He blamed himself. Rage overtook him. "WHY?!" His voice rang aloud, bounding off the bloodied gray stone of the parapets. Hands curled into fists of helpless anger and pounded once, hard against the armored chest of his fallen comrade.  
  
Like a spell broken, the elf in red coughed, causing his body to momentarily contort. Mud came loose from where it had lodged in his throat, spurting onto the ground. Haldir gasped for air.  
  
The son of Thranduil could scarcely believe his eyes! His arms flew around Haldir's shoulders in an embrace of relief. But that elf's weak breathing caused him alarm. "We must be away from here!" He said softly to Haldir.   
  
Putting his arm around Haldir's back, Legolas lifted him to his feet and supported him with his own muscular body. They half-stumbled down a flight of stairs, the customary grace and poise of the elves lost in this moment of battle-weary weakness. Deeper into the Keep, they moved. The fighting had long since moved on from there and Legolas was grateful.  
  
He set Haldir against a wall inside one of the dark chambers. "Can you rest here while I find the others to see if I can yet assist them?" His dark eyes were full of concern.  
  
Haldir, looking dazed, managed a slight nod.   
  
"You are certain?" Legolas asked once more. He nodded again with an inaudible whisper, "Go."  
  
His cape flared out behind him; the Galadhrim cloak that had been given to him by Haldir and his people when the Fellowship had departed from Lothlorien for their unknown fate. Through perils they had come… he remembered it with more than a twinge of sadness. But this wasn't the time for such thoughts! The recollection brought a further sense of urgency to his already hurried steps.  
  
Fierce conflict was still taking place at the gate to the fortress Keep. Legolas leapt his way down there, stopping to let arrows fly into the opposing force. Orcs, Uruk hai, Garnak… His lips curled into a menacing look. They would pay!  
  
Dawn was beginning to break in the east. In the waxing light, the elf could see the fight progressing at the great wooden door. There was Gimli the Dwarf, busily hacking away at one of the Garnak. He heard his frustrated cry: "Aragorn! I beat at it an' beat at it, but to no avail! It keeps pullin' itself back together under the blows from my axe!"  
  
Legolas' heart began thumping in his chest. Water! He cupped his pale hands around his mouth. "Aragorn! Gimli!" His shout carried above the clanking steel. Their heads bolted up in the direction of his voice; they had heard. "Do not try to chop them to pieces! See how they leave a trail of muddy bodies behind? There may be people inside!" Keen elven sight noted their brows that furrowed in confusion. "Water! Aragorn, they are made of mud; water defeats them!"  
  
At that moment, the features of the future king of Gondor filled with understanding. "Quickly! Bring water! Attack the earth creatures with water!"  
  
The soldiers were slow to comprehend this order, but when they did, there was such a scramble as no one had ever seen. Anything that could be full of water, from any source: buckets and barrels, and even abandoned helmets that had caught the rain were now emptied onto the sopping masses of living mud. Under this aquatic barrage, the things dissolved into melting heaps of soggy dirt. Cheers rose at this, no small victory, and they grew louder for word now broke from the walls above that Gandalf had arrived with Eomer and the Rohirrim!  
  
Aragorn found Legolas and clapped him on the shoulder. "The Valar are with us! By them, the elements were on our side. We are fortunate, very fortunate this day."  
  
------------- ------------- -----------  
  
The sound of a door closing snapped Legolas out of his painful reverie. It was Gandalf; he looked grave.  
  
"You said the Garnak pulled him into itself, that you had to dig bits of it out of his mouth?" He asked, coming to stand near to Legolas so that he towered over him, but avoided his eyes.  
  
"Yes, that is how it happened."  
  
Aragorn joined them. In a hushed tone, he spoke to Gandalf. "What is it you fear?"  
  
For an eternity, the wizard did not answer. "The sludge was cursed by Sauruman. No doubt it contained other things besides just earth. Nearly all the others who had been consumed…taken…by these Garnak, have died." Turning, he lifted a withered hand to his temple and gave the Lorien elf's sick chamber a very sad look. "He is one of the last survivors of their attack."  
  
The weight of these words bore heavily on those present. "Is there…no hope?" It was Aragorn who asked, in that same hushed tone.  
  
"There is a small chance…"  
  
Legolas straightened his head.  
  
"He swallowed a measure of it, or rather, it forced itself down his throat. I believe now it is poisoning him from the inside… I must go to him again and see what I can do. Perhaps, by my power, I can force him to retch it up from his stomach and his lungs. Though, it will by no means, be a pleasant ordeal." The other two looked quickly away, Legolas finding it impossible to suppress a small empathetic wince.  
  
"Well… if that is the only hope he has, then let it be." Aragorn straightened his shoulders with resolve. "Be quick." He added in a whisper. None of them wanted to see their friend die.  
  
The white wizard nodded, his face looking suddenly weary. Then he moved to the tall double doors, forcing them open. Legolas craned his neck to peer in; he caught a glimpse of a broad bed and a splash of white hair against pillows before Gandalf turned to face them, closing the doors with a grave face on the two companions who would await his word in the hallway.  
  
------------- ------------- -----------  
  
Legolas felt Aragorn's hand upon his shoulder briefly, and he let his head fall. The next pang of guilt hit his heart with new strength.  
  
'Please…' He prayed silently for the swift mercy of the Valar, for deliverance. All the while, he could not shake that accusing voice inside his head:  
  
'If only I had called to him in warning! If only…'  
  
------------------______________------------------------______________--------------------  
  
Chibi Legolas: This story has nothing to do with anything… It has lots of violence, lots of gore, and nasty stuffs. Hence the rating. I don't own Lord of the Rings, or its characters. I use them here with the full realization that I am using someone else's copyrighted stuff, but I am not making any money off it nor am I making any claims to it for royalties, etc. It's based both on the movies and on the book, but mostly on the movies, and "The Two Towers" especially.   
  
Pippin: Ish so sad!  
  
Chibi Legolas: Shhh! It owes the majority of its content, however, to a dream I had a few nights back. In fact, this is told completely from the dream, with elaborations only a little on the thoughts and speeches of some of the characters.   
  
P.S. The "Garnaks." Those were things that appeared in my dream, so I gave them a name. They do not appear in Tolkien's work. *dubs self the most depressing fanfic writer ever and retreats to a dark corner with spider webs in which to write more* Again, the Garnak are my own creature thingies. So please don't look for them in Tolkien's works with the expectation of finding them. All right… Still am working on getting the other older stories updated, so… *sigh* Stay tuned!  
  
P.S.P.S. Many thanks to all my reviewers! You are awesome. ^_^ 


End file.
